You are receiving this letter because you are a client of either Blackburne & Sons or C-Loans, Inc. Removal instructions are below. Today we'll talk about the single most important item in your commercial loan package. And of course we have lots of jokes and gags for you. Today's final funny really cracks me up.

Joke Du Jour

I had a dream the other night. I was in the old West riding in a stagecoach. Suddenly, a man riding a horse pulls up to the left side of the stagecoach, and a riderless horse pulls up on the right. The man leans down, pulls open the door, and jumps off his horse into the stagecoach. Then he opens the door on the other side and jumps onto the other horse. Just before he rode off, I yelled out, "What was all that about?" He replied, "Nothing. It's just a stage I'm going through."

Commercial Loans From $100,000 to $1.5MM

Blackburne & Sons is looking for commercial real estate loans that are not quite clean enough for a bank. Please click here to submit a hard money commercial loan or call me, Tim Brannan, at 916-338-3232.

Victoria's Secret

I know what Victoria's Secret is. The secret is that nobody older than 30 can fit into their stuff.

What Is the Most Important Item in Any Commercial Loan Package?

Is it the Pro Forma Operating Statement? After all, whether or not the borrower will qualify for a commercial mortgage loan ultimately depends on the cash flow of the property, right?

Or is the most important document in a commercial loan package the personal financial statement on the borrower? After all, commercial banks are the only commercial lenders actively funding deals right now at reasonable terms. If the borrower is not making lots of money and if the borrower does not have a lot of cash in the bank, a commercial bank probably won't do the deal.

No. Here's the answer. (Please make sure you subscribe to our blog so you'll receive each new commercial mortgage brokerage training article as it comes out.)

Elephant Robbery Joke

A jeweler called the police station to report a robbery. "You'll never believe what happened, Sergeant. A truck backed up to my store, the doors opened, and an elephant came out. He broke my plate glass window, stuck his trunk in, sucked up all our jewelry, and climbed back into the truck. The doors closed, and the truck pulled away."

The desk sergeant said, "Could you tell me, for identification purposes, whether it was an Indian elephant or an African elephant?" "What's the difference?" asked the jeweler. "Well," said the sergeant, an African elephant has great big ears and an Indian elephant has little ears."

"Come to think of it, I couldn't see his ears," said the jeweler. "He had a stocking over his head."

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On a Personal Note

Our family spent the Memorial Day with our friends that also have two kids. We had an early dinner and took the kids to the park to play. It was nice to have the day off from work but we did not forget to remember those that gave the ultimate sacrifice to provide the freedoms we enjoy each and every day.

Roof Leak Joke

Mr. Kramer had a leak in the roof over his dining room, so he called a repairman to take a look at it. "When did you first notice the leak?" the repairman inquired. Mr. Kramer scowled. "Last night, when it took me two hours to finish my soup!"

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Final Funny

This joke just tickled my fancy. Every time I read it, I just can't keep from belly-laughing.

A man came into a shop with a Bible Salesman Wanted sign in a window. He went up to the owner and said, "I-I-I w-w-waannn-t the j-joooob-b."

"I don't know if this job would suit you because of your speaking impediment," said the owner. The stuttering job applicant replied, "I h-h-havvve a w-wi-wiiiife and s-s-s-six k-kkkids, iiii-I re-really neeeed thi-thi-this j-j-job!"

"O.K. Here are three Bibles. Go out and sell them." said the owner. So the man went out and came back an hour later. "H-here-sss your m-m-money." said the man. The owner was impressed, so he gave the man a dozen more Bibles and sent him out. The man came back in two hours and said, "Her-ers y-yooour m-m-money."

The owner said, "This is fantastic. You sold more Bibles in three hours than anyone has sold in a week. Tell me, what do you say to the people when they come to the door?"

"W-welllll," said the man, "I r-r-ring the d-door bell, a-a-and s-s-say 'H-Hel-Hello, M-m-maaaaddam, d-d-do you w-w- want t-t-t-to buy thi-thi-this B-B-Bible, oooor d-d-do y-you w-w-want m'me t-toooo read it t-t-t-t-to you?"

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