You are receiving this letter because you are a client of either Blackburne & Sons or C-Loans, Inc. Removal instructions are below. Today we'll teach you how to fix your commercial mortgage business if you're not making any money. And, of course, like always, we have lots of cute, clean jokes and two awesome short videos for you.

Joke Du Jour

A man has a dog named Mace. He keeps the dog in the house most of the time because Mace just loves to eat grass. The man also has a favorite tool, his wrench, which he uses all of the time. One day he lost his beloved wrench. The man looked everywhere for it, but he still couldn’t find it. Suddenly Mace bolted out of the house and started eating all of the front yard grass. Lo and behold there, now visible in the middle of the lawn, was the man’s precious wrench. Joyous, the man broke out in song, "A grazing Mace, how sweet the hound, that saved a wrench for me".

Commercial Loans From $100,000 to $1.5MM

Blackburne & Sons is looking for commercial real estate loans that are not quite clean enough for a bank. Please click here to submit a hard money commercial loan or call me, Tim Brannan, at 916-338-3232.

Baby Name Joke

Recent tweet by Jessica Biel: "If I got a dollar every time someone told me to name my future kid 'Batmo', I'd almost have enough to pay for therapy for a kid named Batmo."

How to Save Your Commercial Mortgage Business If You're Not Making Any Money

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First of all, you are probably working on goofy loans. By “goofy loans” I mean international loans, loans larger than $10 million, land loans and land development loans, residential subdivision construction loans, commercial construction loans without an SBA takeout, loans on mines, joint ventures, loans involving certificates of deposit, credit-enhanced loans, and loans involved in a daisy chain. Folks, you could have a pipeline of 10,000 such loans and never close a single one. Continue.

Pay-Per-View Joke

"A new poll claims that 58 percent of Americans believe Barack Obama would beat Mitt Romney in a fistfight. I didn't realize that was an option. Maybe we can wrap this election up tonight. Make it a pay-per-view event. We could wipe out the national debt in one night." -- Jimmy Kimmel

Too Busy to Broker Commercial Loans to Us? Why Not Just Refer Them Instead? We Make It Easy!

We once paid a $21,250 referral fee. Here is our referral fee program.

On a Personal Note

George IV, please insert text here.

Calorie Joke

"McDonald's announced they're going to start posting for the first time ever the calorie count of their menu items. Not to be outdone, Cinnabon announced they will start announcing their death toll." -- Conan O'Brien

Don't Forget About C-Loans.com

We have a whole new crop of hungry commercial lenders on C-Loans, so if you have a commercial loan you're trying to place, it takes just four minutes to submit your deal to 750 commercial lenders. And remember, C-Loans.com is free!

Wedding Vows Joke

A grandmother overheard her 5-year-old granddaughter playing "wedding." The wedding vows went like this: "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say may be held against you. You have the right to have an attorney present. You may kiss the bride."

Panda's Learn to Slide

I dare anyone not to smile after watching this cute-cute video.

This Is a Little Edgier (R)

Kid Rock and Sean Penn teamed up to make this brilliant short video. Don't worry. Its NOT a plug for either candidate.

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