You are receiving this letter because you are a commercial mortgage broker client of either Blackburne & Sons or C-Loans, Inc. Removal instructions are below. Today we'll talk about a brand new path for mortgage brokers with less-than-700 credit to buy leads from C-Loans. You should be peeing your pants. And as always, we have lots of great jokes and funny pics, plus a funny video of a dance class being taught by toddlers.

Joke Du Jour

Ron just got a brand new sports car. He was out for a drive, when he cut off a big, burly truck driver. The angry trucker forced Ron’s car to the side of the road, and then he demanded that Ron get out of the car. The scary truck driver then pulled out a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the road. He shoved Ron into the circle and threatened him with severe beating if Ron moved outside of the circle. Then he strode to Ron's new car and cut up the gorgeous leather seats with a knife.

When the truck driver turned around, Ron had a slight grin on his face. "Oh, you think that's funny?" the trucker asked, "Watch this." He got a baseball bat out of his truck and broke every window in the car. When he turned and looked again, Ron still had a smile on his face.

This drove the driver into a rage. He got his knife back out and sliced all the tires. Now Ron was outright laughing. The truck driver really started to lose it. He went back to his truck, pulled out a can of gas, poured it on the sports car, and then set it on fire.

When he turned around, Ron was laughing so hard he almost fell down. "What's so funny?” the truck driver demanded. Ron replied, "When you weren't looking, I stepped outside the circle four times.”

Wow, That's Harsh

Get Your Fix and Flip Loan Here

Blackburne & Sons is making a huge push into fix and flip lending. Of course we will still make our private money permanent loans on commercial properties nationwide; but we are now also making fix and flip loans across the country..

That big C-Loans change that allows brokers with so-so credit to buy leads is coming up soon.

Happiest Language Joke

"Researchers at the University of Vermont determined that the world's happiest language is Spanish. German finished fourth, which I find hard to believe. In German, even 'I love you' sounds like a threat.” — Jimmy Kimmel

Download Your Free Commercial Mortgage Marketing Course

We sell this course separately for $199. Click here to get your free commercial mortgage marketing course.

Ocean Heating Joke

"A new study found that the amount of man-made heat that's absorbed by the ocean has doubled since 1997. The main source of that heat? That kid who's waist deep at the beach and has a weird smile on his face.” — Jimmy Fallon

Submit Your Commercial Application Today

Blackburne & Sons continues to seek first mortgages between $100,000 to $3.5 million on standing commercial properties nationwide. We have tons of money right now, so we can do some of the larger loans that in the past were too large for us.

One unusual loan product that we offer is our blanket loan against a portfolio of rental homes. We will also hypothecate notes and buy commercial loans at a discount.

Please be sure to bookmark our commercial mortgage rate sheet right now. To apply for a private money commercial loan from Blackburne & Sons, please find your favorite loan officer below:

Alicia Gandy: 916-338-3232
To apply to Alicia online, please click here.

Tom Blackburne: 574-210-6686
To apply to Tom online, please click here.

George Blackburne, IV: 916-338-3232
To apply to George online, please click here.

Michael Young: 916-338-3232
To apply to Michael online, please click here.

That big C-Loans change that allows brokers with so-so credit to buy leads is coming up soon.

Tonsillectomy Joke

We were on our way to the hospital where our 16-year-old daughter was scheduled to undergo a tonsillectomy. During the ride we talked about how the procedure would be performed. "Dad," our teenager asked, "how are they going to keep my mouth open during the surgery?” Without hesitation he quipped, "They're going to give you a phone.”

We Just Can’t Win

Finally the Big Announcement: There is Now a Path for Brokers With Only So-So Credit To Buy C-Loans Leads

Last week we sent out an announcement hailing Glenn Gioseffi for closing his 40th commercial loan for C-Loans.com. Glenn has now joined Paul Elis and Jason Bengert in the Over 40 Closings Club. Two weeks ago Les Agisim became the founding member of the Over 50 Closings Club. Fifty closings for C-Loans? Wow! It’s fair to say that C-Loans has stuffed hundreds of thousands of dollars (over $1 million for Les?) in loan fees into their pockets.

These guys started out as Lead Buyers on C-Loans. After they closed five loans for C-Loans, they were promoted to The Show. They became listed on C-Loans as a Proven Broker. Now they no longer had to pay for leads. Commercial loan leads now just pour into their email boxes every day. So the path is clear. (1) Buy leads from C-Loans. (2) Close five deals. (3) Get listed on C-Loans as a Proven Broker. (4) Get rich.

But there’s a problem. We here at C-Loans only allow mortgage brokers with 700 credit and a net worth of over $700,000 to buy our leads. Why are we such meanies? We have been cheated sooooo often by starving mortgage brokers that we had to cut them off. These guys don’t start out with the intention to cheat C-Loans. You’ll recall that Lead Buyers owe us 37.5 bps. when they close one of our leads. Sadly, when a starving mortgage broker closes a C-Loans deal, the temptation to put off paying us until the next deal closes is often irresistible. And, of course, they never come back and pay us. So we cut them off. “No soup for you!”

Is your credit only so-so? Is your net worth less than $700,000? Both? Don’t give up. If you enter commercial loans that you find outside of the C-Loans System into C-Loans.com, and you close two loans with C-Loans lenders, we will let you start buying our dirt cheap ($1 to $5) commercial leads. You now have a path to the Over 100 Closings Club.

Pay attention now. You now have a HUGE incentive to enter every single commercial loan you run across into C-Loans.com, in hopes of closing two commercial deals quickly. Let me say that again. Your financial life could become glorious by simply entering all of your new loan requests into C-Loans. Capisce?

Air Conditioning Joke

In the office where I work, there is a constant battle between our technical-support director and customer-service personnel over the room temperature, which is usually too low. The frustrated director, trying to get us to understand his position, announced one afternoon, "We need to keep the temperature below seventy-five degrees or the computers will overheat." Thinking that this was just another excuse, one of my shivering colleagues retorted, "Yeah right. So how did they keep the computers from overheating before there was air conditioning?”

Suffer You Witch!

40-Year Age Difference Joke

When I was a 20-something college co-ed, I became quite friendly with my study partner, a 64-year-old man, who had returned to school to finish his degree. He confessed, with a wink, that he had once thought that more than friendship might be a possibility between us. "So what changed your mind?" I asked him. "I went to my doctor and asked if he thought a 40-year age difference between a man and woman was insurmountable. He looked at my chart and said, 'You're interested in someone who's 104?!’"

Stationary Store Joke

A little boy had been pawing over a stationer's stock of greeting cards for some time when a clerk asked, "Just what is it you're looking for? A birthday greeting, message to a sick friend, anniversary or a congratulations to your mom and dad?” The boy shook his head and answered, "Got any like a blank report card?”

Gotta Read the Fine Print

Ancestry Joke

The following was overheard at a recent High Society party. "My ancestry goes back all the way to Alexander the Great," said Christine. She then turned to Miriam and asked, "How far back does your family go?” "I don't know," replied Miriam, "All of our records were lost in the Flood.”

Baby Bump Joke

Nancy's nephew was four-years-old when she was pregnant with her first kid. She allowed him to place his hand on her belly and feel the baby kick. His little face scrunched up, and he asked, "How does the baby get out of there?” She wanted to keep it simple, so she said, "The doctor will help.” His eyes widened in amazement as he exclaimed, "You've got a doctor in there, too?”

Discharge Joke

"Well," snarled the tough old sergeant to the bewildered private, "I suppose after you get discharged from the Army, you'll just be waiting for me to die so you can come and spit on my grave.” "Not me, Sarge!" the private replied. "Once I get out of the Army, I'm never going to stand in line again!"

We're Now Making Business Purpose Rental Home Loans in All But Eight States

These loans are sometimes known as buy-to-rent loans. For the past 37 years, Blackburne & Sons has exclusively been a commercial lender. This has now changed. We are aggressively seeking non-owner occupied home loans in California and these other states:

The property has to be non-owner occupied, and the purpose of the loan must be for business. The nice thing about business purpose home loans from Blackburne & Sons is that our loans have a 15-year term and no prepayment penalty.

Got a commercial deal nationwide or a business purpose, non-owner-occupied residential deal in one of the above four states? Please call your loan officer:

Alicia Gandy: 916-338-3232
To apply to Alicia online, please click here.

Tom Blackburne: 574-210-6686
To apply to Tom online, please click here.

George Blackburne, IV: 916-338-3232
To apply to George online, please click here.

Michael Young: 916-338-3232
To apply to Michael online, please click here.

Loans made under the California Finance Lenders Law.

Video - Toddlers Leading the Zumba Class

As James Corden and Gwyneth Paltrow Follow Along - Funny

Final Funny

I was eating lunch on the 18th of February with my 10-year-old grandson, and I asked him, "What day is tomorrow?” He said, "It's President's Day!" He is a smart kid, I thought to myself. Then I asked, "What does President's Day mean?" I was waiting for something about Washington or Lincoln, etc. He replied, "President's Day is when the President steps out of the White House. If he sees his shadow, we have one more year of unemployment.”

Buy Commercial Leads

You can buy commercial leads from C-Loans for just $1 to $9, plus 37.5 bps. when the deal closes.

Here's the most important reason why you want to buy leads from C-Loans. Once you close five loans for us, we will list you on our Suggested Lender List as a Proven Broker. If you ever achieve this distinction, the rest of your career will be a breeze. Three or four perfect commercial leads will appear in your email box daily until you retire.

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